Love With Intention
Relationships these days are so hard, we find someone we like, we date them for a while, someone sees something they don't like in the other, and then it ends with some tragic ending, followed by social media stalking and strategic photos trying to give off the vibe that we've moved on and are so much better off. Its text book and laughable. However, every now and then we'll meet someone who will strike a chord, they're different, they keep our attention, everything is easy, it seems like they're the right one... But they're not. They're not an asshole, they didn't do anything wrong, they're simply not the one. We spend so much of our time wanting, wishing, praying, but it doesn't help. So we'll spend forever going back and forth, trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. At some point, we have to let go.
We all have goals and visions for our lives, sometimes it includes a house, a perfect family, travel, a successful career etc, what we really need is to have the one sole goal of true fulfillment. Fulfillment doesn't come from staying stuck in a comfortable space, it comes from the decision to sacrifice. Even as I write this blog, I'm sitting here in the lobby of the cheer gym my daughter goes to, using this time to work instead of taking a well deserved nap. I had to come to terms with the truth about myself, I am my own reason I may not be where I want to be in life. The same goes for relationships, we have to start dating for a purpose, love with intention. This doesn't mean swiping for a husband, but it does mean paying attention to the progression of our relationships.
Here is a check list to help you figure out if you're in a relationship with intent, if your partner is meant for the long haul, but also meant for you.
Your Partner Should Be Your Bestfriend.
First and foremost, your partner should be your best friend. They should be your confidante and your source of solace. If you can't come to your partner about all of your struggles, they're not meant for you. Now, part of being your best friend and partner means they want you around in the future. Talking about the future shows a huge sign of how your partner views you. Do they include you in their goals? If so, there is intention. There is purpose.
Your Lives Should Be Intertwined
Part of being in a relationship is including each other in one another lives. Your partner should be excited to be a part of your Sunday Funday with your people.You should know what is inside his mothers mac and cheese, because you've eaten it at the BBQ's you've been to. Inclusive equals intent. This goes for your goals too, your partner should not only support your goals, but allow you time to work towards them. They should view your plans and passions with the same excitement they do their own.
Your Relationship Should be Peaceful
Lastly, you should feel at peace when you're around them and when you're not. There shouldn't be an environment where you aren't yourself, as individuals and as a couple. What you see is always what you get, in every aspect of relationships. Sometimes, it's not about some horrific adulterous incident, or some complete douche bag of dude, sometimes its simply going no where, and I promise nowhere holds nothing.
This is a personal message, I am still best friends with my ex, he is still my biggest fan and I his, but we knew there was no intention for our relationship. It was a dead end street, and the comfort we felt from one another kept us together. It took a while for us to figure it out, and perhaps time will do something to change our situation, but for now we grow separately; I take this time to invest in myself, to nurture my gifts, and become my best self... perhaps for the intentional love of my life.
Your best self, is on the other side of goodbye.