Being A Single Mother in the Dating World
Let me start by saying... YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Huffington Post quoted that 44% of women in the online dating world are single mothers. Think about it, thats almost half of the available women out there, so do not think you're the minority. So many of us are in this, and I wanted to share how I manage it all, without excuses or complaints; instead, with sheer enjoyment of it all.
It had to start with this statement though...
Men Are Afraid
Most men will swipe right on our pictures, even get a date, we'll start getting to know one another, and then just like that, we'll feel them begin to grow distant. It's not about us. It's about the assumptions men make about us, single mothers. Most of the time they make one or all of these 3 assumptions.
1. Single mothers want a savior.
When it comes to the male brain, they always tend to assess how much work they’re going to have to do to get what they want. They assume single mothers are in need of too much, a step daddy and big bank account.
2. Single mothers have NO time.
Men see mothers and immediately think of all the time they’re spending, wiping butts, discilipining, and chaperoning to weekend sports. Men want time, just like we do.
3. Single mothers have baby daddy drama.
The real question to your prospects is… what is the relationship with your children’s father?? It’s valid. They want to know that they’re not stepping on anyone’s toes, or that they’ll be stuck dealing with a headache forever.
A happy purposeful woman is a woman ready for love.
Being ready for love, means being fulfilled in most areas of your life. It means you make time for you, your passions, your children, and your career.
It’s not impossible, but it requires patience, self reflection, and prioritization.
Consistency is key.
It’s said that 90,000 hours of life is spent at work, think about how that affects your quality of life.
Make your mental and physical health a priority.
Make sure you’re exercising your body and your mind. That means staying active, making sure you remove toxic people from your life. Maintaining a positive outlook, through meditation, and words of affirmation.
Do things for yourself that keep you inspired and full of passion.
Our work is not the only way we can stay inspired. Tap into the gifts you’re not able to use everyday, feed and nurture them. Check off the things on your bucket list, go out and do the things you want to do.
Know that someone else cannot fill your voids
The only person who can truly make yourself happy, is yourself. No one will be able to provide you with joy, the way that you can provide it for yourself. At the end of the day, you can’t erase your private thoughts, so make sure they’re full of motivation.
The takeaway from this is simple, being a single mother don't mean you fall into some dark hole that keeps you a hermit. Dating as a single mother requires you to keep yourself in balance in all areas of your life. It's possible and it's mandatory.