After writing my very first blog about trusting your instincts, I got a few comments and questions asking me "how do I do this?" and "when will I know to trust my gut?" I actually had to sit with myself and analyze my own choices and my own life. I looked at my past and tried to see how I would use those experiences to shape my future. What I realized, was so important!!!! The key to hearing your intuition and trusting in it, is having a strong level of elf awareness. Look I know, it sounds like "DUH, girl what are you talking about?" But believe me, its so much deeper than some guy doing Reiki and a couple of sage sachets. I decided to make this process of self analogy a little simpler by giving myself and you, 3 ways to find your inner voice.
1. Once an experience has happened to you, take a moment to think about what you can learn from it. Now, we've all been through crazy things in this lifetime and I'm a firm believer in getting up and moving on, but after sorting through my lifes blunders and victories, I realized what the take aways were, and how I can apply those to future decisions. Little things like: if he's inconsistent (red flag,) if my friends don't speak into my life in a positive way (red flag,) if I find myself coveting something (red flag,) I sat with these flags, waved them high, and tucked them away in mind just in reach. I know you've had experiences, no one is immune, but let them be reminders for you, when you find yourself in a deja vu situation, these past experiences or lifes' teachable moments will be your inner voice. Your red flags will rise again, and when they do, acknowledge them, greet them with strength, and remember you've been here before, you're listening.
2. Spend time with yourself. I am my favorite person. I know I am the only one who can make me happy, but I am also the only one who can allow myself to be torn down. It seems silly, like ok I'm here by myself, spending time... NO! That is not what this exercise means. In my last blog I discussed my job and being unhappy in it, and finding art, and how that saved me. I didn't just walk into a paint brush and paper, I wish it were that easy. I spent hours everyday, thinking about what my happiest self looks like vs. what my most miserable self looks like. This became my guide. My selfie list. I realized that I need to be creative, that I don't like change, but that I dislike being stagnant even more. I wrote a journal every night about my new experiences, it could've been an entry about a charcoal pencil vs. charcoal stick, seemingly insignificant, but honestly, so helpful. You see, I began curating ME. Picking and choosing what was good for me or bad for me, what was helping me grow or holding me back. Spending time with myself, helped me have stronger convictions about who I am. Try it, get a journal, and start with two lists, what is making you happy right now vs. what is making you unhappy. Read it over and over again, until you are moved to change that unhappy list. Eventually, you'll see how much easier it is, to listen to yourself and how clear your inner voice is. Your instincts want you happy.
3. Look at your inner circle. Ok, so this one is a little tricky because it'll make you think twice about who's in your life and what their purpose is. Learning to listen to your gut instincts takes time, strength, and a power ass tribe. When you were younger, you probably had a bajillion friends, spent little time with all of them, but recall feeling like a boss. Fast forward 10-20 years, your group has withered down to 10, maybe less, and you spend so much time together the co-dependency is borderline on a conjoined twin level. That's amazing. The only problem is, now these friends have meaning in your life, they will either know you better than you know yourself, or not know you at all. You know when you go through something, and you decide to go talk to your friends, if ALL of your friends are saying the same thing, chances are your inner voice has told you the same damn thing. This is usually a good sign, it means you are blessed enough to have a support group that'll help keep you in check with your intuition. If the same scenario happens and everyone is giving you different vibes and advice about the situation, DO NOT TRUST ANY OF IT. This is a clear sign that your friends don't know YOU, and haven't been paying attention to your life and your choices. They will most likely confuse you, and have you even further from your own voice than that a voice message you left on ex base phone.
Okay, so now you have the 3 most important steps and tips on learning to listen to your instincts, what do you do? Take a little bit of time each day to meditate on these things. Think about what’s currently happening, what’s happened in the past, and how you can take nuggets of knowledge with you into the future. Meditate on what your best most happy self looks like, don’t accept anything less than that. Lastly, asses your tribe, who’s there for you and who’s not. Your inner voice is a just your best friend trying to help navigate you through this life, give it as much help as it needs, to make your life as beautiful and fulfilling as it can possibly be.
”they sat across from one another, bare and naked, one was tormented by the other. She stared and listened at the screaming voice from across the table, trying so hard not to pay attention, but she had to, the screaming voice was a mirror, and the truth was herself.”